Talk about the most difficult 24 hours of my life. Goodbyes are no fun. Especially when you’re five deep and the only thing you want to do is hold on and not let go.
I can’t even write about this yet. It’s too new, too fresh.
I woke up in the middle of the night wondering where I was, what was happening, and then it hit me all over again. I didn’t know it could hurt like that. I’m still in shock to an extent. If things were different I wouldn’t be getting on that plane on Tuesday. We wouldn’t have said goodbye. I wouldn’t be wondering if I’m EVER going to see him again.
No, I’d be waking up next to him the happiest woman in the world. …If things were different.
Give it time and I’ll be able to rehash everything, but for now, I’d like to not kill myself, thanks.