I’m considering going back to Minneapolis.
I have my reasons and they’re mine and mine alone. It’s not because of anyone here or there but because I have standards and in order to survive here I’m having to drop below those. Not like you’re thinking. I’m not sleeping with anyone for a place to live or anything like that, but I just don’t like how things are going and as of now and for the foreseeable future, I’m incapable of changing the direction of things.
I’m rather comfortable here. I really am. But the price at which that comfort comes puts me at unease. At this point, I’m not even concerned with the perception people would have if I come back. For me to say that and mean it is a really big thing.
Everyday I miss work. I miss how life was. I guess there’s something to be said for not knowing what you have until it’s gone. I wish I knew what I was doing. I wish I was capable of making this work without help from others. That’s what’s getting at me. The price for help isn’t worth it in my eyes.
At the same time, I’m not ready to go. But I have to make a change. I need someone to talk this over with. So, I wait for the call. There’s one who I trust with everything, and that’s the one who will set me straight, whichever way that is.