They always come at the most opportune time. I saw Ramin today as he was driving past down 55. I didn’t realize it was him at first but I have a missed call from him, so I call back thoroughly expecting that he dialed me by mistake. It wouldn’t surprise me. But no, he meant to call. We haven’t talked since right before I got back, and he said he was wondering how I was doing and was actually thinking of me before he left work and was going to call me when he got home but decided to go ahead and ring me once he saw me. So, looks like we might be getting together tomorrow night. It’ll be nice. I need someone to take my mind off things, and he’s definitely the one to do it. I do love getting to see him since it happens so rarely. However, it always has potential to go not so well, but I think given the space we’ve had for so long, this will be a good thing. The last time I saw him for any period of time was March or April. It’s been a long while. This means I get a bed. Ohhh I’m excited. I miss that bed.
So I’ve decided I’m buying a car early in 2012. It’s been too long without one, and living where I live, I desperately need one. It’s time to suck it up and stop living to extravagantly and start paying for insurance and gas again. I’m planning on finding something cheap and paying cash for it, then saving during the life of that car for something nicer. I’m not sure what hoops I need to jump through to make this work, but I’ll figure it out. A car will help with a lot of shit going on right now. One of my biggest qualms is my lack of social life, and that can be chalked up to not being able to get around. So, time to fix it. I started looking on Craigslist just to see what was out there, and most likely I’ll be getting a mid 90s beater for what I’m hoping to pay. No worries though. Hell, I might check out dealers just to see what cheap used car I can get. I’d be more comfortable buying from a dealer anyway.
Anywho, I’m not discussing what’s on my mind currently. I have trouble putting words effectively to that situation. Let’s just say I’m worried about a friend, there’s nothing I can do, and it kills me. I wish I had the ability to just make everything better for him. I hate seeing him like this, constantly stressed and all that. It’s none of my business, it’s not my place, but I so desperately want to help in some way. I hate seeing the people I care about not in a good place. You know who you are… Anything you need, you know I’m here. I don’t know that I can do much, but I’m willing to try anything and everything if there might even be a glimmer of hope that it could do some good.
I love those close to me. I’d do anything for a number of them, even at the expense of myself. Downfall? Maybe. But I rather see them happy. It’s what makes me happy.