Sometimes you should listen to those who knows you better than you know yourself. However, I’m stubborn. I suppose I enjoy making myself miserable. But why? Do I not feel like I deserve better? Do I actually like this feeling? Is there something that amazing about him that I need to keep doing this to myself?
I know what I want. I know what I’m looking for. He’s not it. However, I’m never going to find quite what I want. I’m a little too picky. I think I can someday come close, though. I just have to remind myself not to settle for anything less in the meantime. I am going to be one of those people who doesn’t settle down for years because I’m too particular about men. But with something like that, why take anything but the best?
A funny conversation occurred today… I was talking with a friend of mine about Ramin, and the conversation led up to me saying “You know, it isn’t all about the sex.” He looks at me for a second and replies, “I can’t believe those words just came out of your mouth.” I still laugh thinking about it. I’m 24, female, and yes, sex is important. However, it’s not everything. It’s not anywhere near everything. Sometimes it takes me a while to realize that with certain people, but once you get past that, you really get to know, experience, and enjoy a person for who they truly are.
There’s one in particular I have in mind saying that… It took me quite some time to get to the place where I’m at now. I’m more interested in getting to know him for him rather than for what could potentially in some alternate universe transpire between us. He means so much to me. I can count on him to give me the truth. I can count on him for strength when it’s needed. He’s one of those few people that simply a “hi” from him can put me in a good mood. This is the man who I will hold all other men in comparison to. I’ll never find a duplicate, but he gives me so much hope that someone close to as wonderful as him is out there for me. I need to stop looking. I need to open myself up so I don’t miss my opportunity.
I’m giving that man a hug and a big huge thank you the next chance I get. And then I’m going to start listening more. Apparently, he’s always right.