I love the uninhibited him. I love that he’s willing to say what he wants and ask for what he wants and not give a shit. I hate that he only says it because he’s intoxicated and won’t necessarily remember it in the morning. I hate that I couldn’t live with myself if it ever went past talk. I care about him too much to take things that far, or so I tell myself. I also know that I tend to fold pretty easily when it comes to men. Sometimes. I’ve been doing much better lately.
I love the reserved him, too. He’s one of the most incredible friends I could ever ask for. He’s full of unsolicited advice, witty comments, and ego enhancing statements. He’s one I can count on for most anything, maybe not the second I wish I could have it, but it never fails, he comes through.
It’s taken a long time for me to get here. I’m still not all the way there, but I’m working on it. I’ll make it eventually.